"Zero Bakes Given - Oreo Cheesecake" - (The easiest thing in the world)

This is the LEAST healthy recipe we have put up. Its definitely a treat and one to avoid if you are a competitive body builder or remotely health conscious... However, that said we have eaten enough of them. Number of 'bakes' given? Zero.

Serves: 12


  • One and half small pots of cream cheese
  • 700ml of double cream
  • 8 Packs of Oreos
  • 5 wooden spoonfuls of confectionary sugar
  • 1.5 cups of vanilla essence
  • Half a pack of butter


  1. In a piping bag or mixing bowl, smash seven shades of crap out of five of your packets of Oreos. This is going to form the base so we are looking a nice fine consistency.
  2. Over a low heat melt your butter in a pan, if you're very Y2K use a microwave.
  3. Place a sheet of baking paper in the bottom of your cake tin, pour in your dry Oreo base mix. 
  4. Add the melted butter slowly, you might not use all of it, we are looking for the mixture to have the consistency of wet sand. Once you're there pat the base out to a nice even thickness. 
  5. Set this in the fridge, or if you are a speed demon opt in for the freezer but don't forget it!
  6. In a bowl whip your cream to about 80% of the way.
  7. In another bowl combine your cream cheese, confectionary sugar and vanilla essence whip until its all combined. It will either thicken or go super runny, this seems to depend on the quality of your cream cheese but doesn't affect the Cheesecake.
  8. Now combine the two bowls into one and whip again. We are going very close over whipping here and are looking for a thick consistency.
  9. Smash another pack or two of Oreos and fold into the mixture.
  10. Spoon the mixture into your cake tin on top of your biscuit base and level of with a spatula.
  11. Stick the whole lot back in the fridge and let it set for a few hours.
  12. Serve with Oreos grated over the top!

Crayfish and Wild Nettle Risotto - not tricky!

You will need:

For the Nettle Purée

100 g Wild Nettles (picked)

50g Flat leaf Parsley

2 Shallots Peeled and Sliced

2 Cloves Garlic, Crushed

3tbsp Virgin Olive Oil

  1. Heat the olive oil over a low heat and add in the shallots and garlic, cook for 3-4 minutes.
  2. To the softened shallots and garlic, add nettles and parsley leaves. Season with salt and pepper and cook for another 3-4 minutes until the leaves are wilted.
  3. Transfer to processor and puree to smooth paste, put to one side.

For the Crayfish Risotto

50g Butter

1 Small Onion Finely Chopped

2 Garlic Cloves, Crushed

300g Risotto Rice

1 Glass Josmeyer Pinot Blanc ‘Les Lutins’ 2011

1tbsp Chopped Fresh Thyme

1 Litre Hot Chicken or Fish Stock

180g Cooked Crayfish Tails

Salt + Pepper

100g Grated Parmesan

Parmesan Shavings

Watercress Leaves

  1. Melt the butter in a large saucepan and fry the onion and garlic until soft (no colour) add rice and cook stirring for 1 minute.
  2. Then add the wine and let it bubble until almost evaporated.
  3. Add the thyme then the stock a ladle at a time, stirring until the rice has absorbed the liquid, continue to cook gradually adding the stock, stirring until the rice is creamy and tender.
  4. Stir in the nettle puree, grated parmesan and crayfish tails, season to taste. Top with parmesan shavings and watercress leaves. Serve immediately


Wood Pigeon Pitta - Super easy and serves 2

You will need:

1 x Bag of mixed Baby Leaf salad.

2 x Pitta Breads.

A chunk of local Black Pudding.

Two rashers of local streaky Bacon (diced).

2 x Fresh Wood Pigeon Breasts.

Small handful of Pumpkin seeds.

Local Rapeseed Oil.


  1. Heat a decent sized non-stick frying pan, add no oil and once hot crumble in your Black Pudding, once the black pudding has started cooking add in your diced Bacon. Turn regularly and allow to crisp nicely.
  2. Once your Bacon and Black Pudding have crisped up add them to your bowl of washed Baby Leaf salad. Make sure your Black Pudding is sufficiently crumbled and if it has clumped together break it up again.
  3. In a separate bowl season and oil your Pigeon breasts, once completed add these to the smoking hot pan. Cook for approximately one and a half to two minutes per side.
  4. Once cooked, move to a chopping board and 'rest' them for an equal amount of time.
  5. You can either toast your pumpkin seeds lightly or just chuck them straight in the salad as they are.
  6. Slice the pigeon nice and thickly and combine all ingredients. Dress liberally with Rapeseed Oil and little pepper.
  7. Bob's your uncle.